From the very beginning of their history, humans have faced the problem of death. Death should not be viewed as a problem but rather a normal occurrence, something that is necessary for a life to be complete. From this point of view, both life and death are processes that penetrate each other. From the first moment of life, a human being starts to die and when a person dies, s/he starts to live in another way.
It is a core human desire to take care of someone else. This feeling of compassion, love, and sympathy is what makes us humans. We always want and try to take care of our loved ones and try to protect them. But some things are not in our hands. No matter how much we try, we cannot stop death. IT IS INEVITABLE, and perhaps that is the reason what makes it scary. The fear of losing someone close to your heart kills you from the inside and something within you starts dying with them. And sometimes things get worse and our loved ones suffer a lot and have a painful death. And in that situation, all your money, efforts, prayers, and love combined cannot stop them from leaving. But there is always something that we can do, and that is taking care of them. To not stop loving is always an option and probably our greatest strength. Death cannot be escaped but it can be made peaceful.
Here in this article, you can learn how to support your loved ones in their last days and make it slightly easier for them to complete their journey. And for that first, you need to know and understand the psychology of a dying person.
The psychological stages a deadly ill person passes through.
The research was conducted by Elisabeth CyublerRoss a psychiatrist from Switzerland.
She Separates 5 Stages:
- Denial – No, I cannot die! It cannot happen to me!
- Anger – Why me? There are so many people around, why me?
- Bidding – Oh God, I will not sin anymore, if only you cure me, just cure me.
- Depression – The patient accepts that death is inevitable and thinks about his/her sins, dreams s/he has not realized and the hopes s/he had.
- Acceptance – waits for his/her death with a peaceful mind
Once you know about these stages, it will be much easier for you to understand the patient and thus to help him/her overcome the diseases with greater ease.
Following are the things you can do for your terminally ill loved ones:
- If the person is able to converse with you, talk with them. Talk about the old days, about your memories together, about their interests, and their hobbies.
- If the person is unable to talk but can hear, tell them nice and fun things. Read to your loved ones.
- Talk about the things you did together. Remind them of good old days. Ask them to share their fun memories of their childhood, parents, siblings, and friends.
- A lot of people use touch as their language of love. If the person is comfortable, hold their hand, comb their hair, or massage their feet. But be careful if they are in physical pain.
- Share your feelings and tell them the last things you want to say to them. Say goodbye. This may be difficult and painful but both you and the dying person are aware of the situation. Consider yourself lucky for getting a chance to say goodbye and find closure.
It is not easy to lose someone you love but you can still make every single moment you are spending together count. Get rid of regrets and tell them you love them before what you ‘have’ changes into what you ‘had’.