You cannot truly cherish and appreciate something without having the fear of losing it. The possibility of something, that you have invested all your love and efforts in, getting destroyed is probably the worst kind of fear that can reside in your heart. While our fears mostly make us more wary and protective sometimes, our fears can get the best of us and we tend to land in bad places created by us.
Working out a relationship has never been and will never be easy for anyone, it can never be a completely balanced situation, one or the other will always find themselves doing more at a certain point but that is what makes you compliment each other and makes it a beautiful mess. Because come on, you cannot expect yourselves to be two jigsaw puzzle pieces that will fit together perfectly and make it a beautiful big picture, that is not how it works, and aiming to have that is kind of wanting the impossible. And as if all this was not enough to deal with, the fears come crawling in making it an even more difficult place to be in.
While there is nothing we can do to get rid of the fears we face in a relationship we can still try to manage them and for that we need to put our finger on them first,
The Fear Of Abandonment
Let us be honest, we all fear being abandoned by our loved ones, though it seems almost impossible, the slight possibility of it happening keeps ticking in your brain every now and then like a time bomb waiting to explode. The more love you put in something or somebody the bigger gets the fear of being left behind by them, and with time instead of getting some sense of security, the fear starts to multifold within you tricking you into imagining all sorts of horrific scenarios.
Getting abandoned does not depend on the other person but on you. You choose to get abandoned by someone if you simply start to develop a sense of belonging to one’s self, you can easily get rid of this fear. When you will start belonging to yourself, to your surroundings, and to the bigger picture there won’t be a question left about abandonment.
The Fear Of Getting Hurt
A little pain never killed anyone but when it comes out of a relationship, it can leave you scarred for long enough to avoid forming any relationship or even considering doing so.
We cannot choose if we suffer or not but we can sometimes choose the reason for that suffering. Being alone causes pain and getting hurt in a relationship too causes pain, you need to pick your pain.
The fear of getting hurt can make you oversee all the good things packed in a healthy and beautiful relationship. So let this fear subside and embrace all that a relationship brings, wounds or smiles it does not matter.
The Fear Of Commitment
Committing to something does not mean you will have to take full responsibility if things go downhill. And the fear to own up to it or take responsibility is probably the precursor to the fear of commitment. But you should understand that commitment does not cage you, in fact, it sets you free in so many ways, by taking away the insecurities and the fear of not knowing when it will end.
Running from commitments will only signal your partner to keep their options open and surely you would not want that to happen.
The Fear Of Being A Failure
Most people tend to blame themselves for a failed relationship and think they are the real reason things never work out for them which is incorrect. A failed relationship does not label you as a failure but as a person who tries their best. Results are not always going to be positive but remember, you miss 100 of the shots you do not take.
It is only wise to let go of the fear of failure because there are only two outcomes to almost everything, success or failure, and to achieve it big you need to risk it big.
Our fears do not define us but the decisions we make under that pressure do so make sure none of your fears keep you from having a wonderful relationship.